The One About The 'Glow-up' w/ Kate Kendrick

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Just Blane: Ah, yes.

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There it is.

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We're back Becks.

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We are, and I love the
background this week, Blane.

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Oh, well, you know what?

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I'm not in my normal studio.

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Oh, got it.

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Where are you at?

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Can you guess whose studio this is?

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It, you

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Becks: know, looks like
possibly Courtney Pearl's.

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Just Blane: You are absolutely correct.

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It's Courtney Pearl's, the
host of Practically Magic.

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I'm over here.

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We're working on a big project
coming out in the fall.

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Becks: Awesome.

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Just Blane: It's got something
to do with some witch movies.

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I'm telling you that right now.

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It's gonna be fun.

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Honestly, I'll just tell you this.

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Borrow the, uh, the
pop up movie screening.

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Becks: Hey, we're doing a
big event over here too.

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So yeah, maybe we can combine events.

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I don't know.

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I'll have to get in touch.

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Just Blane: I love it.

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So there's always something
popping off in daybreak.

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Always.

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It's true.

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Becks: Yeah.

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Summer pool party is this weekend.

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It is this Saturday, y'all.

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6 to 8 PM.

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Just Blane: Whoa.

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Be

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Becks: there.

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Just Blane: We got,
we're going to be there.

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Becks: Where is that?

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That is going to be at South
County Pool in Riverton.

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So if you would like more information,
you can jump on either any of our,

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uh, social media sites, right?

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Like we've been sharing it like crazy.

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So visit us at, uh, radiodaybreak.

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com.

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You can find us there.

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Um, Instagram, Facebook, you can
find us there or goodbetterbecks.

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com or excuse me.

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What's my handle, Blane?

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What is your handle?

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Becks underscore.

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Just Blane: We'll find it.

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They'll find the pull bar.

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If not, they probably got
a flyer in the mail too.

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Becks: Yeah, or you know, just
quickly scan that QR code now!

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Just Blane: Scan the QR code.

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Sign up, get your tickets.

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It's free.

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The tickets are free.

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You just got to register to
make sure we get a head count.

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That's right.

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Cause we're having food
trucks, food trucks out there.

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What else we got?

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We got the DBC, the
Daybreak Business Community.

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That is where we, where we also met
our wonderful guests coming up today.

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Kate Kendrick.

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I can't wait to get to her.

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Oh, she's

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Becks: so interesting.

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Oh my goodness.

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Like

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Just Blane: it's wild.

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Everybody I've talked to.

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And I said, we're going to
interview Kate Kendrick.

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They went, Oh, she's the, and
they'll, they'll fill in a blank.

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And it's a different blank.

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And it's

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Becks: always different.

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Yes, exactly.

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Just Blane: Before we get to her
Cambria Davis, the astral day breaks.

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Astrologer is doing a incredible
workshop for the DBC Thursday.

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Thursday.

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Get out there to that.

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You got to see that.

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These things are incredible for
all the business owners around.

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If you want to sign up for one of
these workshops, let us know that too.

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Becks: Yes.

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Shout out where that's going to be held.

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Just Blane: Novel by Crescent Communities.

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Novel Daybreak by Crescent Communities.

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Becks: You got it.

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Right there on Lakeland Road.

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Yep.

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Novel Apartments.

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She's amazing, you guys.

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You don't want to miss this.

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Thursday evening.

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Is there anything else before we
can get to this exciting guest?

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Oh, I don't think so.

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I think that's all

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Just Blane: I have.

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Anything you can think of?

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No, I don't think so.

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Kate Kendrick!

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Hello!

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Welcome!

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Kendrick, like Kendrick Lamar.

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Kate Kendrick: Like, Kendrick
Lamar has nothing to do with him.

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Just Blane: Nope!

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Nope.

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Kate Kendrick: Nope.

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Just Blane: I gotta tell you guys this.

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I gotta start off with this because
I do have some insider information

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in the Kendrick Lamar camp.

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For anybody out there that's been
watching the, the, the Rat Beef.

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It might be over, but I don't know.

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It may not.

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I've been talking to a couple people
over there, but anyway, anyway,

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that's not what we're here for.

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We're not here for Kendrick Lamar,
we're here for Kate Kendrick.

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Thank you.

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Just Blane: That's right.

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Welcome.

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You walked into a DBC meeting a
couple months back, and bubbly,

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personable, and literally Didn't
know what the hell she was doing.

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I'm right.

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Kate Kendrick: Yeah.

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Well, I got a chance to meet King
Benjamin, you know, Ben Brown.

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I met him at a comedy show and,
um, he was also working at the

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coffee shop here in New York and I
got to know him a little bit and.

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Kind of, our stories are kind of parallel.

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I did not raise up on, I was
not raised on a polygamist camp.

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Becks: I do not.

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That's where it differs a little, huh?

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Kate Kendrick: It differs a little,
but I mean, I really, I knew who he

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was and I was inspired by him and we
And then after his comedy show at Wise

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Guys, he said, Hey, you should come
to this Daybreak meeting that we have.

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It's just, it's just like
a little networking thing.

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So come on down.

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And I said, well, I like people.

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I like to know new people
and I love Daybreak.

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I walk around the lake
pretty much every day.

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I love it.

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So.

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Um, it turned out to be
a really good choice.

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Just Blane: Now remember that's the
Oak er Lake, that's how you say it.

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Kate Kendrick: That's how you say it?

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Just Blane: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

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Kate Kendrick: Oak er Lake.

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Just Blane: Oak

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er Lake,

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Kate Kendrick: yeah.

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I didn't know, I learned something new.

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Thank you, Blane.

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I

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Becks: do too, every time he repeats it.

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But

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Just Blane: that's, that's, so, so,
It sounds like you were going through

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some sort of change or something.

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Oh, well, right there was a change.

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We had a change in

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Kate Kendrick: my lighting.

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It's decided.

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You can still see.

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Yeah.

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Well, the story kind of goes where
last year I turned 45 years old.

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And for my birthday, I got
a sweet midlife crisis.

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Oh, awesome.

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Cause in a matter of months, I
resigned from 18 years of teaching

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elementary school, grad school,
halfway through the program.

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I left the Mormon faith.

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I went from being pretty homophobic to
being a fierce ally for my LGBTQ child.

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I divorced my husband.

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We sold our home.

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I had to pack up everything that I owned
and cram it into a 10 by 10 storage unit

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and

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Kate Kendrick: lived in daybreak
for a little while until I

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could get back up on my feet.

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I was unemployed and happier
than I'd ever been in my life.

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Just changing all of these things
where a former version of myself

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probably would have been terrified.

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Had I, like this self gone
to visit a younger version of

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myself, she would have cried.

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Stayed in bed, don't want this to happen.

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But having gone through it, I, I can
generally say I am happier than I have

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been ever, and I've learned a lot of
skills, a lot of tools along the way.

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And that's kind of where
I am at this point.

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I'm at this crossroads trying to
figure out where I'm going in life.

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Becks: How long was that journey, Kate,
that you went through all of that?

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What was that timeframe?

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Kate Kendrick: It was from May
of last year until August of.

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Last year

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Becks: and in the world all of
that transition happened all

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of that change in your well

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Kate Kendrick: And then yeah, and
then I moved out In January of this

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year, but you know, my car died.

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My dog died.

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We just I all I needed was like
pregnancy or there is my midlife

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crisis for you right there.

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Becks: Oh my word.

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That is a short amount of time.

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So you're talking like six
months total life transformation.

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Kate Kendrick: Sure.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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So we have to

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Becks: ask like, what,
what got you through that?

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Like, first off, where
do you find the courage?

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Were you just like, I'm
doing this and Here we go.

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Kate Kendrick: Uh, I, I've been asking
myself that question for quite a while

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and I think it's come to the thing that
I've, I've come to the realization that

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it's because of a lot of the tools and the
skills that I've learned over the years.

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So, I mean, yes, I've been in and out of
therapy since I was younger to kind of

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help self reflection is really important.

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Being able to look at oneself
and to be self awareness is huge.

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And, um, recognizing that I
need to work on some stuff.

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So understanding what I had control
over and what I didn't have control

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over was huge, making that decision
rather than focusing on like all

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of these things that are happening
are outside my control rather than

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focusing on them, I focused on.

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All right, these are the steps that I can
take and these are the things I can do.

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I also made sure that community was huge
and it was very important for me to reach

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out and find people to support me through
this and it was remarkable what I was able

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to find because I genuinely don't think we
can't do anything in our lives on our own.

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I

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mean,

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Kate Kendrick: we, yes, even the best,
most self made people could not get where

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they were, where they are today, had it
not been for the help of other people.

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Just Blane: Did you used to try to
do everything by yourself and not

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ask for help and then shift that way?

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Kate Kendrick: Oh, sure.

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Sure.

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I think a lot of us do.

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I think our pride, our ego kind
of gets in the way and we're

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like, Oh yeah, look at me.

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I can do everything on my own, but if
we're really truthful and honest and who

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we are, we're, we're social creatures.

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Humans are social creatures.

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We can't do things on our own.

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We need other people.

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And I'm extroverted.

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I'm, I'm an ENFP.

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I'm very, very extroverted, but even
as an extrovert, I need my alone time.

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And even the most introverted of people's
people need other people as well.

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So

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Just Blane: yeah, Midlife crisis.

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I don't think, I don't think
it's midlife crisis though, Kate.

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I think it's your experiences and
your skill sets coming together

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with age and it's wisdom coming out.

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I don't think midlife crisis or what
they, what people think they are.

250
00:09:39,923 --> 00:09:42,013
I think it's the wisdom and I think
it's other stuff that you want to

251
00:09:42,013 --> 00:09:44,543
get out there and make the changes.

252
00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:46,663
And if you're not happy, then guess what?

253
00:09:46,663 --> 00:09:46,798
Yeah.

254
00:09:47,398 --> 00:09:49,498
I will figure out how
to make myself happy.

255
00:09:49,498 --> 00:09:50,318
I think that's what.

256
00:09:52,203 --> 00:09:54,643
Becks: So experience and figuring
it out and then, you know, just

257
00:09:54,643 --> 00:09:57,653
making those decisions based on the
wisdom and the knowledge of life.

258
00:09:57,653 --> 00:09:57,733
Exactly.

259
00:09:57,733 --> 00:10:00,633
I think, I hate the term midlife crisis.

260
00:10:01,253 --> 00:10:04,493
Kate Kendrick: Yeah, and I only use
that because I think people can relate.

261
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:05,973
Relate, yeah.

262
00:10:06,893 --> 00:10:11,033
What I think, though, is, um,
I call it a midlife glow up.

263
00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:11,593
Becks: There you go.

264
00:10:11,643 --> 00:10:12,753
I love it.

265
00:10:12,753 --> 00:10:16,543
Kate Kendrick: Like a midlife transition,
a midlife awakening, a midlife glow up is

266
00:10:16,543 --> 00:10:21,133
really what I think because I am happier
than I've been in a very long time.

267
00:10:21,593 --> 00:10:24,553
So, um, in fact, there's
another friend of mine that I

268
00:10:24,553 --> 00:10:26,653
met here who lives in Daybreak.

269
00:10:26,953 --> 00:10:32,023
And she and I connected, uh, as
she knew my husband through work.

270
00:10:32,253 --> 00:10:33,313
And we had met once.

271
00:10:33,833 --> 00:10:35,173
Maybe like four or five years ago.

272
00:10:35,173 --> 00:10:39,833
And then we went out for coffee a little
while ago and she said, you would look

273
00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:45,193
like 15 years younger than you did
five years ago, because I have had this

274
00:10:45,193 --> 00:10:49,603
awakening and this awareness and this
ability to be authentically myself.

275
00:10:50,413 --> 00:10:50,653
So

276
00:10:50,923 --> 00:10:52,833
Kate Kendrick: if you want to
hear a little bit about the story,

277
00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:54,913
it's very, very complicated.

278
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:58,068
But if you've got some time,
I'll share some of that.

279
00:10:58,518 --> 00:11:03,778
Um, it started last year when
my husband at the time made this

280
00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:08,168
unilateral decision to move out
of state to the Pacific Northwest.

281
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:09,738
And I said, that's really cool.

282
00:11:09,748 --> 00:11:11,358
It was a second marriage for us.

283
00:11:11,418 --> 00:11:12,938
And he had kids from his first marriage.

284
00:11:12,938 --> 00:11:15,668
I had one, I have one
from my first marriage.

285
00:11:16,278 --> 00:11:19,428
And I said, that's really cool
on your part because you can.

286
00:11:19,918 --> 00:11:24,538
Your youngest is just graduating
from high school and that's great for

287
00:11:24,538 --> 00:11:27,558
you, but my youngest, my only child
has two more years of high school.

288
00:11:27,588 --> 00:11:29,258
Could you wait two years?

289
00:11:30,138 --> 00:11:30,668
Move.

290
00:11:30,968 --> 00:11:34,908
And he said, no, I feel called and
inspired that I need to do this now.

291
00:11:35,568 --> 00:11:40,918
And, and, and he said, but, and,
and my 16 year old is, is Theo.

292
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:43,113
He said, Theo's going
to want to move with us.

293
00:11:43,573 --> 00:11:45,393
And I said, Theo, do you
want to move with us?

294
00:11:45,523 --> 00:11:47,393
And they said, no, I don't want to move.

295
00:11:47,763 --> 00:11:48,083
Becks: Yeah.

296
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:51,923
That's a hard age to leave your friends.

297
00:11:51,923 --> 00:11:54,873
And you know, you've already started
high school, got two more years.

298
00:11:55,123 --> 00:11:57,833
If you're playing sports,
that's a whole other issue.

299
00:11:58,173 --> 00:11:58,413
Kate Kendrick: Right.

300
00:11:58,423 --> 00:12:00,283
And having a dad lives here.

301
00:12:00,283 --> 00:12:05,373
So like nothing was up there and
Theo's like, no, I don't want to move.

302
00:12:05,573 --> 00:12:06,448
And I said, yeah.

303
00:12:07,448 --> 00:12:10,858
Okay, I'm putting this literally put
in a position where I had to choose

304
00:12:10,858 --> 00:12:12,368
between my husband and my only child.

305
00:12:13,318 --> 00:12:15,238
And you think that the
answer would be simple.

306
00:12:15,248 --> 00:12:16,488
You choose your child, right?

307
00:12:16,898 --> 00:12:20,448
But I was in this position,
I mean, a lot of religious

308
00:12:20,648 --> 00:12:22,268
pressure to make a marriage work.

309
00:12:22,888 --> 00:12:23,068
Um,

310
00:12:23,278 --> 00:12:25,798
Kate Kendrick: I made that
decision that I would, I would

311
00:12:25,798 --> 00:12:26,748
move to the Pacific Northwest.

312
00:12:27,328 --> 00:12:27,708
And

313
00:12:27,988 --> 00:12:30,438
Kate Kendrick: I told, I told
Theo, I'm like, I'm so sorry,

314
00:12:30,438 --> 00:12:32,188
this is what's going to happen,
but we're going to make it work.

315
00:12:32,188 --> 00:12:33,568
I'm going to like FaceTime you every day.

316
00:12:33,568 --> 00:12:34,208
We'll fly you up.

317
00:12:34,208 --> 00:12:34,798
I'll fly back.

318
00:12:35,028 --> 00:12:36,088
We're going to make this work.

319
00:12:36,428 --> 00:12:40,458
And, but inside my mama heart
was just like, I hate this.

320
00:12:40,698 --> 00:12:42,208
This feels awful.

321
00:12:42,388 --> 00:12:43,918
Fast forward to last June.

322
00:12:44,028 --> 00:12:50,788
So, a year ago, um, my husband was
getting ready to move to Seattle for two

323
00:12:50,788 --> 00:12:54,648
months of training for his new position
that he was taking in a different part.

324
00:12:54,658 --> 00:12:57,798
It wasn't in, it was in a
different city in the state.

325
00:12:58,028 --> 00:13:04,018
And, um, I stayed behind because I
was in my, in my getting my master's.

326
00:13:04,268 --> 00:13:06,358
I had resigned from
teaching because I was done.

327
00:13:06,468 --> 00:13:09,508
I think after 18 years, teacher
burnout is a real thing.

328
00:13:09,618 --> 00:13:09,908
It really is.

329
00:13:10,808 --> 00:13:13,968
And I said, I was done with that,
but I was going to try, I got like

330
00:13:13,968 --> 00:13:18,028
a job teaching drama up in Seattle
until I could figure things out.

331
00:13:18,418 --> 00:13:22,883
And, um, But I was going to stay
behind, work on my master's degree.

332
00:13:22,883 --> 00:13:25,553
I was halfway through master
of arts and teaching fine arts.

333
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,343
And, um, I was gonna
make sure the house sold.

334
00:13:28,343 --> 00:13:31,873
I was going to make sure that things
got packed up and then I would join my

335
00:13:31,873 --> 00:13:35,313
husband in Seattle after, after Labor Day.

336
00:13:36,143 --> 00:13:41,543
Well, while he's gone, I have just
a huge weight on my shoulders just

337
00:13:41,623 --> 00:13:48,033
thinking about all of these questions
that I had in my faith and thinking

338
00:13:48,033 --> 00:13:51,473
how it wasn't fair that I was put
in this position to have to choose

339
00:13:52,743 --> 00:13:54,563
between one family member and another.

340
00:13:54,693 --> 00:13:55,123
Yeah.

341
00:13:55,203 --> 00:13:56,423
It just did not seem fair.

342
00:13:56,733 --> 00:13:57,313
And.

343
00:13:57,518 --> 00:13:59,608
Um, but I had other questions and things.

344
00:13:59,858 --> 00:14:02,708
My, uh, and Theo is, is transgender.

345
00:14:03,118 --> 00:14:06,728
And I was also pretty
closed minded at the time.

346
00:14:06,858 --> 00:14:09,268
I was like, no, that's not right.

347
00:14:09,288 --> 00:14:09,968
I'm your mom.

348
00:14:09,978 --> 00:14:10,858
I know better.

349
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:12,548
I'm smarter than you.

350
00:14:12,788 --> 00:14:16,658
You listen to your parents, you
know, uh, that was problematic.

351
00:14:16,918 --> 00:14:23,158
Um, and a lot of this weight was weighing
on me until finally the, the end of July.

352
00:14:24,118 --> 00:14:24,558
I.

353
00:14:24,868 --> 00:14:30,178
Questioned everything and started reading
and I did a deep dive and realized

354
00:14:30,198 --> 00:14:37,218
that my faith did not align with my
beliefs and I said, I'm I'm done.

355
00:14:37,458 --> 00:14:40,528
I'm leaving this and I
called up my husband.

356
00:14:40,963 --> 00:14:41,553
And let him know.

357
00:14:41,553 --> 00:14:43,853
Cause I think that was important
for him to know this part,

358
00:14:43,863 --> 00:14:45,093
because your faith is huge.

359
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,693
Yeah.

360
00:14:46,693 --> 00:14:47,083
Kate Kendrick: Right.

361
00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:50,943
And I called him up and I said, I, I
don't believe I'm leaving the faith.

362
00:14:51,503 --> 00:14:54,143
And he said, how could you do this
without my, without letting me

363
00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,093
know, I'm letting you know now.

364
00:14:57,093 --> 00:15:01,243
And it's my faith, not yours,
believe whatever you want.

365
00:15:01,743 --> 00:15:07,383
Um, but it was, we had a
conversation and ultimately decided

366
00:15:07,383 --> 00:15:08,553
that we couldn't stay married.

367
00:15:08,553 --> 00:15:08,583
Right.

368
00:15:08,873 --> 00:15:11,463
He asked me to do a mixed faith marriage.

369
00:15:11,463 --> 00:15:15,053
And I said, no, we can't do a mixed
faith marriage because a mixed faith

370
00:15:15,073 --> 00:15:20,763
marriage has to be based on, it has
to be based on a solid foundation.

371
00:15:21,023 --> 00:15:24,103
And you put me in a position where I had
to choose between you and my only child.

372
00:15:24,213 --> 00:15:26,193
That is not a solid foundation.

373
00:15:26,503 --> 00:15:29,853
And so we divorced, we were finished.

374
00:15:29,873 --> 00:15:32,763
But before that happened,
I had the entire.

375
00:15:33,028 --> 00:15:37,718
The month of August to pack up everything
I owned and deconcept my faith and

376
00:15:37,718 --> 00:15:42,688
file for a divorce and deal with some
really big challenges in my life.

377
00:15:42,688 --> 00:15:43,888
Make

378
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:46,308
Kate Kendrick: sure that I was okay.

379
00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:51,078
And as I was a school teacher
and now had to change everything,

380
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:53,448
I can't go to Seattle anymore.

381
00:15:53,448 --> 00:15:55,738
I had to call them up the job
that I had and I said, I'm

382
00:15:55,738 --> 00:15:56,868
sorry, I'm not coming anymore.

383
00:15:57,108 --> 00:15:59,418
I'm staying here for my child.

384
00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:00,093
At least

385
00:16:00,343 --> 00:16:01,623
Kate Kendrick: until they
graduate from high school.

386
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:02,783
And, um,

387
00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:07,623
Kate Kendrick: during all of
this, I was, and we had no money.

388
00:16:07,663 --> 00:16:09,063
I had no place to live.

389
00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:16,573
I was just in a very frantic state of
mind, but at the same time, so much peace.

390
00:16:17,083 --> 00:16:21,043
I would wake up each morning saying
like, how am I doing so well?

391
00:16:22,303 --> 00:16:25,883
As well as I'm doing, because
I should be freaking out, but

392
00:16:26,523 --> 00:16:27,993
I'm doing awesome right now.

393
00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:29,833
I was able to like

394
00:16:29,943 --> 00:16:30,783
liberation.

395
00:16:30,783 --> 00:16:32,683
I'm, I'm free from all of this.

396
00:16:34,753 --> 00:16:36,083
Just Blane: It was, it was, you were free.

397
00:16:36,083 --> 00:16:37,433
Cause you didn't have God anymore.

398
00:16:37,443 --> 00:16:38,443
You didn't have, you know what I mean?

399
00:16:38,443 --> 00:16:39,023
Like it was.

400
00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:40,748
Just you, right?

401
00:16:40,988 --> 00:16:43,238
Becks: Or maybe she did,
just in a different sense.

402
00:16:43,238 --> 00:16:43,458
And

403
00:16:44,278 --> 00:16:45,608
Kate Kendrick: I'm
still figuring that out.

404
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:51,948
So, what I did, um, My birthday was the
first of August, the first week of August.

405
00:16:51,988 --> 00:16:53,338
August 3rd is my birthday.

406
00:16:53,798 --> 00:16:57,238
I made the decision to leave
the church on the 23rd.

407
00:16:57,568 --> 00:17:01,618
My, my husband and I divided,
decided to divorce on the 30th.

408
00:17:02,198 --> 00:17:03,888
And then August 3rd was my birthday.

409
00:17:03,888 --> 00:17:07,538
And I said, for my birthday,
I'm giving myself the gift of

410
00:17:07,578 --> 00:17:09,728
authenticity permission to be myself.

411
00:17:10,808 --> 00:17:14,808
And so I did a big, long Facebook post
to everybody in the world that I knew

412
00:17:15,248 --> 00:17:17,468
saying, Hey world, it's my birthday.

413
00:17:17,478 --> 00:17:21,498
And here's some stuff I want to
share about who I am at this age.

414
00:17:21,858 --> 00:17:26,483
I, um, My, I'm not moving to Seattle after
all, because everybody knew I was making

415
00:17:26,483 --> 00:17:31,223
plans as my husband and I are no longer
going, we're not going to stay married.

416
00:17:31,653 --> 00:17:35,503
Secondly, I think it's important for you
to know that I'm leaving the faith and.

417
00:17:36,528 --> 00:17:38,778
I, you can believe what you wanna believe.

418
00:17:38,778 --> 00:17:41,028
I'm not going to try to pressure
you to believe anything different.

419
00:17:41,028 --> 00:17:41,088
Yeah.

420
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,878
But I think it's important for
you to know, because I was very

421
00:17:43,883 --> 00:17:49,288
stalwart before and now I, I'm, I'm
a different person then I need a

422
00:17:49,288 --> 00:17:52,118
job network with who do you know?

423
00:17:52,118 --> 00:17:52,658
How can you help me?

424
00:17:52,658 --> 00:17:56,408
I can't get a teaching job right
now because I'm packing up my life.

425
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:59,978
I don't have time to go set up a
classroom and start a school year.

426
00:18:00,008 --> 00:18:01,448
I mean, that's stressful.

427
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:04,598
I, I'm barely surviving here
and I need a place to live.

428
00:18:05,253 --> 00:18:05,633
Well,

429
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:10,103
Kate Kendrick: I had, I made this post
and I was very true and authentic.

430
00:18:10,383 --> 00:18:11,583
Who do you know who could help?

431
00:18:11,953 --> 00:18:14,113
And a friend of mine said,
come and stay with me.

432
00:18:14,563 --> 00:18:14,783
And

433
00:18:15,103 --> 00:18:19,243
Kate Kendrick: I lived in, in a
basement apartment for about four

434
00:18:19,243 --> 00:18:24,423
months as I was recovering from these
major life changes, trying to find

435
00:18:24,423 --> 00:18:26,033
work, I was substitute teaching.

436
00:18:26,343 --> 00:18:30,733
I took a job just at an elementary
school here close to daybreak.

437
00:18:30,773 --> 00:18:35,613
And, um, I was in the
first part of January and.

438
00:18:35,943 --> 00:18:42,433
I worked that job for seven weeks, but my
mental health was on a gradual decline.

439
00:18:42,463 --> 00:18:43,843
I couldn't do it.

440
00:18:44,043 --> 00:18:44,743
I just couldn't.

441
00:18:44,743 --> 00:18:45,503
I

442
00:18:45,503 --> 00:18:46,963
Kate Kendrick: was in such a dark place.

443
00:18:47,633 --> 00:18:52,423
And additionally, I wasn't showing up
for the kids the way they deserved.

444
00:18:52,983 --> 00:18:56,703
You know, it was, they,
they weren't happy with me.

445
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:57,893
I wasn't happy with them.

446
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:02,873
And the former teacher, like the
teacher that I used to be, who loved

447
00:19:02,883 --> 00:19:06,083
teaching and engaging with children
and helping them, was like, Kate.

448
00:19:06,668 --> 00:19:07,768
This is not good for you.

449
00:19:07,928 --> 00:19:08,688
So I resigned.

450
00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:10,178
I quit.

451
00:19:11,248 --> 00:19:11,768
Just Blane: That's big.

452
00:19:11,778 --> 00:19:12,678
You needed money.

453
00:19:12,878 --> 00:19:17,458
You had money, but you weren't giving
the little ones what they needed.

454
00:19:17,538 --> 00:19:17,918
A hundred

455
00:19:17,918 --> 00:19:18,218
Becks: percent.

456
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:18,708
Yeah.

457
00:19:18,708 --> 00:19:20,945
Like you knew you were capable of prior.

458
00:19:20,945 --> 00:19:21,751
Yeah.

459
00:19:21,751 --> 00:19:25,138
You knew you had some
heavy stuff going on, Kate.

460
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:27,588
Just Blane: You could have
just went through the motions

461
00:19:27,588 --> 00:19:28,768
and kept getting that check.

462
00:19:29,843 --> 00:19:30,383
Yeah,

463
00:19:30,893 --> 00:19:31,843
Kate Kendrick: but I was unhappy.

464
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,233
I came home every day.

465
00:19:33,353 --> 00:19:36,473
Just the kids were unhappy.

466
00:19:37,083 --> 00:19:38,573
Not that the school was great.

467
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:39,623
The administrator was great.

468
00:19:39,633 --> 00:19:40,593
Everything was great.

469
00:19:40,643 --> 00:19:42,833
It was just no longer fit.

470
00:19:43,143 --> 00:19:45,923
And so when I look at these
changes in my life, I feel like.

471
00:19:46,583 --> 00:19:49,763
Liken it to like a
snake shedding its skin.

472
00:19:50,423 --> 00:19:50,863
These were

473
00:19:50,863 --> 00:19:52,833
Kate Kendrick: parts that fit me.

474
00:19:52,833 --> 00:19:58,173
Once upon a time, teaching used to fit
me being a member of this, this religion

475
00:19:58,203 --> 00:20:02,233
used to fit me being in this marriage
used to fit me, no longer fits me.

476
00:20:02,583 --> 00:20:06,043
And so I had to shed that and
what I was trying to do with this

477
00:20:06,053 --> 00:20:07,698
teaching position was trying to.

478
00:20:07,838 --> 00:20:13,338
Cram that skin back on me fit dang it
fit and it did and I learned the hard

479
00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:18,508
way that that was that was a problem
so fortunately I'm not destitute when

480
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:23,868
we sold the house I uh I got a larger
percentage of the equity of the home

481
00:20:24,168 --> 00:20:27,773
because We rolled the alimony into my,

482
00:20:27,773 --> 00:20:30,213
we

483
00:20:30,573 --> 00:20:31,993
Kate Kendrick: rolled it
into the cell of the house.

484
00:20:32,103 --> 00:20:33,963
So I've had that to work with.

485
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:42,153
I've had great opportunities to just get
to know, um, uh, get a chance to, I mean,

486
00:20:42,153 --> 00:20:44,093
I'm working different jobs here and there.

487
00:20:44,113 --> 00:20:47,243
I substitute taught, I taught,
I then got a job as a studio

488
00:20:47,243 --> 00:20:49,223
teacher, which is really cool.

489
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,658
And so I can tell us about this.

490
00:20:52,068 --> 00:20:54,628
Becks: Yeah, I think that you
have another kind of fun little

491
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,088
job that you picked up, right?

492
00:20:56,378 --> 00:20:57,758
Kate Kendrick: Right, right.

493
00:20:58,088 --> 00:21:02,998
So the other job I took as a studio
teacher, it happened last fall, and this

494
00:21:02,998 --> 00:21:06,628
is where social media can be a great tool.

495
00:21:06,948 --> 00:21:07,348
Where

496
00:21:07,398 --> 00:21:10,798
Kate Kendrick: I was on Facebook and some
of my friends knew that I was looking

497
00:21:10,798 --> 00:21:13,828
for work and there, I'm a theater kid.

498
00:21:13,868 --> 00:21:18,833
I know a lot of people in theater and
someone saw a post about how There was

499
00:21:18,833 --> 00:21:22,813
a project being filmed last October
in North Salt Lake and they needed

500
00:21:22,813 --> 00:21:27,043
a studio teacher, someone to teach
the kids on set, the children actors.

501
00:21:27,468 --> 00:21:29,678
And I, I responded to this post.

502
00:21:29,678 --> 00:21:33,508
I said, I'm, I'm, I'm a licensed teacher.

503
00:21:33,608 --> 00:21:34,228
I can do this.

504
00:21:34,228 --> 00:21:39,658
And so they hired me on the spot and
I went up to North Salt Lake for a few

505
00:21:39,658 --> 00:21:44,663
weeks and I got to work with the children
actors, so, and there was a lot to say.

506
00:21:44,883 --> 00:21:49,753
Yeah, there are laws in place where the
kids can't work class a certain hour.

507
00:21:50,113 --> 00:21:53,673
They've got to make sure that
they are, um, taken care of.

508
00:21:53,683 --> 00:21:57,413
We just need to make sure that we
don't have any, you know, Miley

509
00:21:57,413 --> 00:22:01,093
Cyrus's or, you know, Shia LaBeouf's,
you know, you got to also serve as

510
00:22:01,093 --> 00:22:03,643
a welfare agent for these kids, make
sure that they're taken care of.

511
00:22:03,653 --> 00:22:06,743
Becks: So you really were
playing advocate as well.

512
00:22:06,853 --> 00:22:07,403
Yes,

513
00:22:07,843 --> 00:22:08,733
Kate Kendrick: definitely an advocate.

514
00:22:09,413 --> 00:22:11,793
And then in addition, I got a chance to

515
00:22:14,118 --> 00:22:17,218
Then just this last May,
oh, that was a lot of fun.

516
00:22:17,218 --> 00:22:19,528
I had a great time, but I was
like, that was a one and done.

517
00:22:19,608 --> 00:22:20,768
Maybe I don't want to do this.

518
00:22:20,768 --> 00:22:21,538
Maybe I will.

519
00:22:21,878 --> 00:22:26,308
So I put on Utah Film Commission,
uh, my little profile.

520
00:22:26,648 --> 00:22:28,568
My, everything that I needed.

521
00:22:28,998 --> 00:22:34,738
Um, and just in May, I got a call
from, um, Another company down in

522
00:22:34,738 --> 00:22:40,108
southern Utah where there's a western
film that was being filmed down there.

523
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:43,858
And I got to go have a chance to
be the studio teacher for these

524
00:22:43,858 --> 00:22:45,808
kids on set down there as well.

525
00:22:46,138 --> 00:22:51,148
And then I just got back from Moab where
I got a chance to work with a couple

526
00:22:51,148 --> 00:22:55,438
of kids with one child in, uh, and I
can say this one, it's called Navajo

527
00:22:55,438 --> 00:22:57,838
Highways, which is this beautiful.

528
00:22:58,018 --> 00:23:02,888
Beautiful educational program, uh,
designed for Navajo kids to learn Diné,

529
00:23:03,058 --> 00:23:06,998
to learn their native tongue, to learn
about their culture and their history.

530
00:23:07,358 --> 00:23:09,498
And it's, it's so fun.

531
00:23:09,538 --> 00:23:12,988
And I feel like what's happening is that
I need to get a charger for my computer.

532
00:23:12,988 --> 00:23:16,668
So I'm going to talk while I'm going
to grab that, because that's what we do

533
00:23:16,688 --> 00:23:19,688
when I'm looking at this and I'm trying
to stay focused and like, I can't do it.

534
00:23:20,128 --> 00:23:20,548
I just can't.

535
00:23:21,358 --> 00:23:21,848
All right.

536
00:23:21,848 --> 00:23:22,928
We're gonna die.

537
00:23:22,928 --> 00:23:23,668
We're gonna die.

538
00:23:24,668 --> 00:23:25,268
Oh my goodness.

539
00:23:25,888 --> 00:23:28,788
So I'm gonna go for as long
as I can until I get this.

540
00:23:28,978 --> 00:23:29,668
I'm so embarrassed.

541
00:23:29,818 --> 00:23:30,088
I'm sorry.

542
00:23:30,778 --> 00:23:31,048
Don't be.

543
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:32,558
You know, this is great.

544
00:23:32,568 --> 00:23:34,798
This is so great.

545
00:23:35,768 --> 00:23:38,578
Kate Kendrick: I am a little
ADD friend, just so you know.

546
00:23:38,578 --> 00:23:46,213
And we're back to being charged and
Now, oh good, we're not gonna do that.

547
00:23:46,213 --> 00:23:49,133
Yay!

548
00:23:49,133 --> 00:23:49,693
You saved it.

549
00:23:49,703 --> 00:23:50,783
We all were nervous.

550
00:23:52,283 --> 00:23:54,433
Kate Kendrick: Had a little tour
of my apartment as we were going.

551
00:23:54,823 --> 00:23:59,653
So, anyhow, I, um, As I'm going
through these adventures of my

552
00:23:59,653 --> 00:24:04,433
life, I feel like I'm also Living
in my twenties for the first time,

553
00:24:05,303 --> 00:24:05,733
because

554
00:24:05,983 --> 00:24:08,953
Kate Kendrick: in the culture in
which I was raised, there were very

555
00:24:08,953 --> 00:24:12,203
high expectations that were given.

556
00:24:12,313 --> 00:24:16,303
And I didn't feel like I had a voice or
a choice, or I didn't feel like I had

557
00:24:16,313 --> 00:24:20,473
an opportunity to really figure out who
I was and what I wanted in this life.

558
00:24:20,853 --> 00:24:24,063
And so it was graduate from
high school, enroll in college.

559
00:24:24,093 --> 00:24:24,353
Okay.

560
00:24:24,353 --> 00:24:27,323
Now go on a two year, go
on a mission, come back.

561
00:24:27,618 --> 00:24:30,158
Graduate, get married, pop out babies.

562
00:24:30,548 --> 00:24:36,248
It was just, it was very prescriptive and
I didn't feel like I had time to really

563
00:24:36,248 --> 00:24:39,068
figure out who I was and what I wanted.

564
00:24:39,108 --> 00:24:42,438
I did not get to go backpack
across Europe or try a different.

565
00:24:43,458 --> 00:24:43,918
Jobs.

566
00:24:43,928 --> 00:24:47,788
And so what I was doing then was
just doing what was expected of me

567
00:24:48,648 --> 00:24:49,308
without really

568
00:24:49,508 --> 00:24:51,088
Kate Kendrick: feeling
like this is what I wanted.

569
00:24:51,368 --> 00:24:55,338
And then now here I am in my
mid forties with this midlife

570
00:24:55,358 --> 00:24:57,258
awakening or glow up or whatever.

571
00:24:57,258 --> 00:25:02,698
And I have the time now to explore
what I like and what I want to do.

572
00:25:03,048 --> 00:25:03,883
And I'm, I'm.

573
00:25:04,293 --> 00:25:05,143
Thrilled to death.

574
00:25:05,163 --> 00:25:09,053
And so I worked at a nursery for
a little while and it just wrapped

575
00:25:09,063 --> 00:25:11,683
up, um, because it was seasonal.

576
00:25:11,703 --> 00:25:17,493
I, so I don't have that kind of
work right now, but I am working

577
00:25:17,503 --> 00:25:21,293
toward building my life coaching and
public speaking business as well.

578
00:25:21,713 --> 00:25:26,203
I, and I'm so thankful for the opportunity
I had to go to these meetings here

579
00:25:26,203 --> 00:25:29,673
in Daybreak, the community, the, the
business meetings, because I don't know

580
00:25:29,673 --> 00:25:31,533
the first thing about entrepreneurship.

581
00:25:32,163 --> 00:25:36,723
I worked in, I know I, but I was
working in a public school for all

582
00:25:36,723 --> 00:25:42,713
of these years where I didn't, you
don't learn that stuff as an educator.

583
00:25:42,963 --> 00:25:44,263
It's the same thing.

584
00:25:44,773 --> 00:25:46,413
And I have nothing against education.

585
00:25:46,413 --> 00:25:51,113
I am a huge advocate of education
and I think teachers are phenomenal

586
00:25:51,113 --> 00:25:54,643
and they're not paid or respected
the way that they need to be.

587
00:25:55,443 --> 00:25:57,183
It just doesn't fit for me any longer.

588
00:25:57,573 --> 00:26:00,853
And unfortunately I didn't have,
I was never taught business.

589
00:26:01,308 --> 00:26:02,158
I don't know the first thing.

590
00:26:02,268 --> 00:26:05,998
So I'm going to these meetings and
networking, getting to know people like

591
00:26:06,008 --> 00:26:09,778
you, Blane and Becks, and how, and the
remarkable people at these meetings,

592
00:26:10,378 --> 00:26:12,568
uh, networking is so great, where.

593
00:26:12,913 --> 00:26:15,363
I'm, I say, I think I want
to do some life coaching.

594
00:26:15,373 --> 00:26:19,473
And then there's a life coach there at
the meeting saying, Oh, I can help you.

595
00:26:19,763 --> 00:26:20,253
Come on in.

596
00:26:20,573 --> 00:26:21,763
We're going to, we're going to talk.

597
00:26:21,773 --> 00:26:23,623
We're going to visit, or I
want to be a public speaker.

598
00:26:23,663 --> 00:26:25,903
Ooh, I have got some great
tools and ideas for you.

599
00:26:26,413 --> 00:26:26,763
And

600
00:26:26,963 --> 00:26:27,953
Kate Kendrick: so they're helping.

601
00:26:28,348 --> 00:26:33,558
They're helping me as I'm figuring out
who my, who I am and what my life is.

602
00:26:33,578 --> 00:26:34,688
So I,

603
00:26:34,698 --> 00:26:40,218
Becks: I'm so glad that you say that,
that you are moving into life coaching

604
00:26:40,218 --> 00:26:43,518
because I was just thinking, you know,
you're not alone in this journey.

605
00:26:43,848 --> 00:26:48,378
You're definitely not alone here in this
state, in, in your path specifically,

606
00:26:48,798 --> 00:26:55,823
you know, with, um, The social circles
that are often tied to the Church of

607
00:26:55,823 --> 00:26:57,563
Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, right?

608
00:26:57,573 --> 00:27:00,573
Like, so you're definitely
not alone in this space.

609
00:27:01,243 --> 00:27:01,483
And I

610
00:27:01,503 --> 00:27:04,483
Becks: think that's the
biggest message, right?

611
00:27:05,343 --> 00:27:09,783
To share here is not only have you
realized that you've now made a network

612
00:27:09,783 --> 00:27:16,393
outside of that, and, and which has helped
for you social wise, you know, psych

613
00:27:16,393 --> 00:27:23,208
social wise, and here you are now Turning
this difficult, challenging experience

614
00:27:23,278 --> 00:27:27,708
into something where you're able to help
people, whether it's a similar journey

615
00:27:27,718 --> 00:27:31,878
or something that is a little bit outside
of that, maybe not your exact journey,

616
00:27:32,108 --> 00:27:36,298
but you're able to provide some tools
and knowledge and education for others.

617
00:27:36,338 --> 00:27:39,798
Like that is so powerful
for me to hear that.

618
00:27:39,838 --> 00:27:41,038
So just thank you.

619
00:27:41,038 --> 00:27:45,378
I guess I just wanted to say, thank you
for sharing your message and doing that.

620
00:27:45,378 --> 00:27:49,593
Then, you know, in turn for others
to help them through their hard,

621
00:27:49,603 --> 00:27:51,373
whatever that looks like, or maybe.

622
00:27:52,093 --> 00:27:52,513
Kate Kendrick: Right.

623
00:27:52,513 --> 00:27:58,743
Just Blane: I mean, she had the
right spirit when she walked into

624
00:27:58,743 --> 00:28:01,463
the DBC meeting the first time
and said, I don't know what I'm

625
00:28:01,463 --> 00:28:03,633
doing, but I'm here to be a sponge.

626
00:28:03,653 --> 00:28:04,283
I remember this.

627
00:28:04,553 --> 00:28:05,183
Yeah.

628
00:28:05,683 --> 00:28:06,753
And that's what she's been doing.

629
00:28:06,763 --> 00:28:11,023
And that's, that's really what an
entrepreneur's spirit really is.

630
00:28:11,103 --> 00:28:12,823
It's just to soak it in.

631
00:28:13,178 --> 00:28:13,758
Soak it in.

632
00:28:13,758 --> 00:28:14,558
You're doing that.

633
00:28:15,168 --> 00:28:16,528
You've opened your mind up.

634
00:28:16,558 --> 00:28:19,868
You've, you've gotten rid
of some of those chains.

635
00:28:20,258 --> 00:28:23,348
You said you were homophobic
at one point, and then now

636
00:28:23,348 --> 00:28:25,278
you've got a transgender child.

637
00:28:25,893 --> 00:28:27,953
You had the flag behind
you in the background.

638
00:28:28,603 --> 00:28:30,283
That's going to open up new opportunities.

639
00:28:30,283 --> 00:28:30,793
Am I right?

640
00:28:31,223 --> 00:28:31,803
Kate Kendrick: Yeah.

641
00:28:31,903 --> 00:28:36,743
In fact, speaking of, I started
a TikTok channel when I was

642
00:28:36,743 --> 00:28:38,523
going through this whole thing.

643
00:28:38,563 --> 00:28:42,363
I mean, I had a friend who was doing
TikTok and she knew of my life changes.

644
00:28:42,363 --> 00:28:46,753
And she said, Kate, why don't you start
this to kind of document your journey?

645
00:28:47,193 --> 00:28:48,233
And I'm like, are you sure?

646
00:28:48,343 --> 00:28:49,023
And she said, yes.

647
00:28:49,023 --> 00:28:51,923
And so I started this, I
call it Midlife Exmo Mama.

648
00:28:52,258 --> 00:28:58,678
Because I like alliteration for one,
and it also, those are my identifiers.

649
00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:00,528
I'm going through this midlife crisis.

650
00:29:00,528 --> 00:29:03,828
I'm, I identify as an
expo and I'm, I'm a mama.

651
00:29:03,908 --> 00:29:04,448
I'm a mom.

652
00:29:04,708 --> 00:29:05,868
My child.

653
00:29:06,418 --> 00:29:11,958
And I started documenting my journey and
made, So many connections with people

654
00:29:11,958 --> 00:29:16,798
who are just like me and I didn't feel
alone and I've been actually able to meet

655
00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:19,878
people that I met on TikTok in, in person.

656
00:29:19,878 --> 00:29:23,308
I'm using, I, yes, maybe I spend a
little bit too much time on social

657
00:29:23,308 --> 00:29:24,798
media, but I use it as a tool.

658
00:29:25,118 --> 00:29:25,468
Yeah.

659
00:29:25,538 --> 00:29:26,398
Kate Kendrick: How can I connect?

660
00:29:26,898 --> 00:29:28,288
How can I share my experience?

661
00:29:28,328 --> 00:29:30,028
How can I learn from other
people's experiences?

662
00:29:30,098 --> 00:29:32,588
And how can I um, just this last.

663
00:29:33,218 --> 00:29:39,448
March, there was, uh, David Archuleta,
uh, released a song called Hell Together,

664
00:29:40,018 --> 00:29:45,768
where he talks about his journey of coming
out as gay and leaving the Mormon church.

665
00:29:46,408 --> 00:29:46,578
And

666
00:29:46,858 --> 00:29:52,818
Kate Kendrick: then his mom made this
beautiful transformation where she said,

667
00:29:53,568 --> 00:29:57,728
ultimately, if you're going to hell,
Then we're going to go to hell together.

668
00:29:58,708 --> 00:30:02,658
She left the church and loved
and embraced him for who he is.

669
00:30:02,968 --> 00:30:07,441
And I just bawled my eyes out because
the song hit me so hard because

670
00:30:07,441 --> 00:30:09,256
I was like, that's my journey.

671
00:30:09,256 --> 00:30:10,466
That's my journey too.

672
00:30:10,466 --> 00:30:17,078
And so I did a Tik TOK video, um,
back in March set to this song.

673
00:30:17,088 --> 00:30:22,748
And I kind of talked about my journey
to challenge my own biases and learn and

674
00:30:22,748 --> 00:30:27,338
grow as a mom, where I thought I was,
um, I thought that I had all the answers

675
00:30:27,348 --> 00:30:30,368
that I knew everything, but I didn't.

676
00:30:30,628 --> 00:30:34,808
And, and Theo and I really struggled
for a very, very, very long time.

677
00:30:34,808 --> 00:30:35,468
I mean,

678
00:30:36,078 --> 00:30:36,858
Kate Kendrick: they didn't like me.

679
00:30:36,858 --> 00:30:37,648
I don't like them.

680
00:30:37,918 --> 00:30:41,908
We had this really awful relationship,
but it was after I did the work.

681
00:30:42,868 --> 00:30:43,748
I looked inward.

682
00:30:43,748 --> 00:30:46,908
I held up that mirror and
said, what can I do to change?

683
00:30:46,918 --> 00:30:48,648
What can I do to change?

684
00:30:48,658 --> 00:30:49,968
I can't change my child.

685
00:30:50,233 --> 00:30:51,393
Becks: No, you can love your

686
00:30:51,533 --> 00:30:51,973
Kate Kendrick: child.

687
00:30:52,383 --> 00:30:54,493
I can love my, I, but at the time I

688
00:30:54,633 --> 00:30:55,433
Becks: accept your child.

689
00:30:55,503 --> 00:30:55,953
Kate Kendrick: Yeah.

690
00:30:56,203 --> 00:30:59,073
But at the time I couldn't
because of these biases that I had

691
00:30:59,123 --> 00:30:59,543
Becks: right.

692
00:30:59,723 --> 00:31:00,143
Yeah.

693
00:31:00,393 --> 00:31:01,053
Kate Kendrick: Blocked me.

694
00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:05,053
So I had to do the work I did
about a year and a half of studying

695
00:31:05,613 --> 00:31:06,013
and

696
00:31:06,053 --> 00:31:08,873
Kate Kendrick: listening to podcasts
and reading the literature, talking

697
00:31:08,873 --> 00:31:10,883
to other parents with LGBTQ youth.

698
00:31:11,513 --> 00:31:20,358
And one day, um, It was last, last
year in, in March, um, Theo was

699
00:31:20,368 --> 00:31:25,078
in a play at the Pioneer Theater
Company and everyone in the cast and

700
00:31:25,078 --> 00:31:29,478
the crew used their pronouns, they,
them, and I hadn't until that point.

701
00:31:29,928 --> 00:31:33,628
And they used those pronouns and
I saw the difference it made.

702
00:31:33,718 --> 00:31:35,088
I

703
00:31:35,088 --> 00:31:37,368
Kate Kendrick: saw like how
they lit up, how they felt

704
00:31:37,398 --> 00:31:38,628
loved, how they felt validated.

705
00:31:38,898 --> 00:31:41,378
They felt more loved and
validated by complete strangers

706
00:31:41,378 --> 00:31:42,458
than they did by their own mom.

707
00:31:42,458 --> 00:31:43,638
And

708
00:31:43,638 --> 00:31:45,478
Kate Kendrick: that killed me inside.

709
00:31:45,498 --> 00:31:46,968
And I said, you know what?

710
00:31:47,498 --> 00:31:48,118
Yeah,

711
00:31:48,198 --> 00:31:48,938
Kate Kendrick: I'm wrong.

712
00:31:49,778 --> 00:31:50,468
I'm wrong.

713
00:31:50,878 --> 00:31:55,118
And that very day I said, you know
what, Theo, and Theo is not the

714
00:31:55,118 --> 00:31:56,168
name they went by at the time.

715
00:31:56,198 --> 00:31:58,378
That's also a new transition
we're, we're going through.

716
00:31:58,758 --> 00:31:59,998
But I said, you know what?

717
00:32:01,128 --> 00:32:01,658
I.

718
00:32:02,413 --> 00:32:07,033
I'm going to start using your pronouns
because I was wrong and I need to

719
00:32:07,043 --> 00:32:10,263
love you and our relationship is
now better than it's ever been.

720
00:32:10,733 --> 00:32:16,833
So I made this Tik Tok video about my
journey and Good Morning America found

721
00:32:16,863 --> 00:32:23,423
this Tik Tok video and they invited me
and Theo to come be on this solo speech.

722
00:32:23,423 --> 00:32:27,693
Blane literally just flew off
his chair, flew off his chair,

723
00:32:27,693 --> 00:32:28,893
whatever I'm trying to say.

724
00:32:29,103 --> 00:32:31,613
Yes.

725
00:32:31,973 --> 00:32:32,573
Kate Kendrick: Yeah.

726
00:32:32,573 --> 00:32:37,023
So we get a chance to go and share
our journey and share our experience

727
00:32:37,443 --> 00:32:42,213
because this is something that I
think other parents need to hear.

728
00:32:43,223 --> 00:32:48,203
I think they need to hear that if
you have a child that has come out

729
00:32:48,243 --> 00:32:51,563
as LGBTQ, you can't control that.

730
00:32:52,103 --> 00:32:52,713
You can't.

731
00:32:53,633 --> 00:32:54,923
What you can do, parents.

732
00:32:56,213 --> 00:32:57,943
Is you can challenge your beliefs.

733
00:32:58,183 --> 00:33:03,643
You can challenge those things that really
put a wedge between you and your child.

734
00:33:04,453 --> 00:33:08,063
But I also want to have a
message for those LGBTQ kids.

735
00:33:09,078 --> 00:33:12,088
It's give your parents the
space to learn and grow

736
00:33:12,518 --> 00:33:13,058
because

737
00:33:13,178 --> 00:33:16,678
Kate Kendrick: they've got a
lifetime of unlearning to do.

738
00:33:16,678 --> 00:33:17,873
It's

739
00:33:17,873 --> 00:33:23,738
Kate Kendrick: like they've been
raised with societal expectations,

740
00:33:23,748 --> 00:33:26,268
with indoctrination, with whatever.

741
00:33:26,608 --> 00:33:29,388
That parents have been exposed
to these things and they, it's

742
00:33:29,388 --> 00:33:30,983
not like you, Click on a light.

743
00:33:30,983 --> 00:33:33,558
One day you're homophobic and
the next day, Oh, I'm going

744
00:33:33,558 --> 00:33:34,933
to the pride parade with you.

745
00:33:35,493 --> 00:33:36,613
It's not like that at all.

746
00:33:36,633 --> 00:33:42,103
It's you for those LGBTQ youth
is you need to give your parents

747
00:33:42,313 --> 00:33:44,143
space to learn and to grow.

748
00:33:44,393 --> 00:33:46,543
But at the same time, you
need to advocate for yourself.

749
00:33:47,193 --> 00:33:49,593
You can't just allow
them to treat you poorly.

750
00:33:49,923 --> 00:33:55,803
You can't allow yourself to be
abused or belittled or whatever.

751
00:33:56,353 --> 00:33:59,703
And sometimes those boundaries
come at a cost sometimes.

752
00:34:00,208 --> 00:34:04,428
You lose relationships with people until
they're willing to respect you and your

753
00:34:04,438 --> 00:34:04,788
Just Blane: boundaries.

754
00:34:05,678 --> 00:34:11,019
I think not just LGBTQ parents, but all
parents, all people need to hear this.

755
00:34:11,019 --> 00:34:15,313
Because it's not just a, it's not
just educating the people who are.

756
00:34:16,453 --> 00:34:19,073
In the thick of it, it's,
let's educate everybody.

757
00:34:19,083 --> 00:34:24,913
Even if they're this far removed
from the rainbow flag, educate

758
00:34:24,913 --> 00:34:27,253
them on why, on what, on all of it.

759
00:34:27,503 --> 00:34:29,663
And I think that would help a lot of this.

760
00:34:29,933 --> 00:34:31,393
I love what you said.

761
00:34:31,653 --> 00:34:31,983
Out there.

762
00:34:31,983 --> 00:34:32,303
Yeah.

763
00:34:32,573 --> 00:34:34,033
Becks: Yeah, I love what you said.

764
00:34:34,033 --> 00:34:37,393
And as you were speaking, I'm like, well,
you know, maybe that's something within

765
00:34:37,393 --> 00:34:43,133
our DBC network too, we could talk about
as an admin and get more information from

766
00:34:43,133 --> 00:34:45,663
you, Kate, regarding the support groups.

767
00:34:45,663 --> 00:34:50,583
Cause I think a lot of parents having
the foundation, whether it's here in

768
00:34:50,583 --> 00:34:56,328
the state of Utah and you know, the
predominant background here, Or elsewhere.

769
00:34:56,348 --> 00:35:00,908
I think that this is a struggle for
them on the what to do, what to say,

770
00:35:00,918 --> 00:35:05,428
how to interact, how to, you know, and
so I think hearing those experiences

771
00:35:05,428 --> 00:35:11,398
through other parents as well, how did
we get through to our, um, child and

772
00:35:11,578 --> 00:35:15,938
break through conversations where we
can mend that relationship because we've

773
00:35:15,938 --> 00:35:19,558
said something stupid or we've, you
know, done something that we're just.

774
00:35:19,918 --> 00:35:23,348
ingrained with, you know, our
blinders on and we didn't mean

775
00:35:23,348 --> 00:35:24,898
to be hurtful, but it happened.

776
00:35:24,908 --> 00:35:28,718
And, you know, still those,
to save those relationships.

777
00:35:28,728 --> 00:35:30,348
So we'd love to get more information.

778
00:35:30,348 --> 00:35:31,968
Maybe that's something we look at Blane.

779
00:35:33,768 --> 00:35:38,508
But it's been so great and insightful
just hearing from you every time you talk.

780
00:35:38,508 --> 00:35:40,388
I'm just like, ah, she's so inspiring.

781
00:35:40,388 --> 00:35:41,988
Where can

782
00:35:41,988 --> 00:35:42,598
Just Blane: we find?

783
00:35:43,633 --> 00:35:44,163
Get in touch.

784
00:35:44,203 --> 00:35:46,653
Like if people are listening right now
and they want to talk to you or want

785
00:35:46,683 --> 00:35:51,793
something, some inspiration, want you
to be a coach for them or speak to them.

786
00:35:52,313 --> 00:35:53,333
How, how do they get in touch?

787
00:35:53,373 --> 00:35:54,243
Where do we find you?

788
00:35:54,433 --> 00:35:55,423
Kate Kendrick: That's a good question.

789
00:35:55,453 --> 00:35:58,753
Um, I've actually, I'm still
in the process of building.

790
00:35:58,753 --> 00:36:01,223
I tell people all the time
I'm a work in progress.

791
00:36:01,253 --> 00:36:04,023
I don't, you can find me on Facebook.

792
00:36:04,023 --> 00:36:06,233
My profile, Kate Kendrick is public.

793
00:36:06,243 --> 00:36:07,453
You could reach out to me that way.

794
00:36:07,493 --> 00:36:11,043
I've got my TikTok channel,
which is midlife exmo mama.

795
00:36:11,383 --> 00:36:12,303
Um, and.

796
00:36:12,493 --> 00:36:16,253
I am in the process of putting
together a website, which I will

797
00:36:16,253 --> 00:36:18,013
be launching this next month.

798
00:36:18,483 --> 00:36:24,493
And, um, I'm going to be talking about,
um, life coaching, public speaking

799
00:36:24,653 --> 00:36:31,513
opportunities to be, um, yeah, it's
TikTok is, is, uh, it's midlife Exmo mama.

800
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:33,863
Just Blane: Yeah, I

801
00:36:33,863 --> 00:36:35,393
Kate Kendrick: got first
M in there to make it.

802
00:36:36,283 --> 00:36:37,043
Triple mmm.

803
00:36:37,043 --> 00:36:40,413
I love it.

804
00:36:40,413 --> 00:36:42,473
That's where, that's where
you can find me for now.

805
00:36:42,493 --> 00:36:46,453
Um, I'm, I'm in the process of
building things and I'm grateful.

806
00:36:46,763 --> 00:36:51,303
Thank you so much for having me on for
this chance to share and to let you know

807
00:36:51,303 --> 00:36:55,673
how incredibly grateful I am for the
tools and the resources you've provided

808
00:36:55,983 --> 00:36:57,803
as the Daybreak Business Community.

809
00:36:58,273 --> 00:36:59,643
Um, for me.

810
00:36:59,928 --> 00:37:02,498
But all and for giving me
space to learn and to grow.

811
00:37:02,498 --> 00:37:02,778
Oh,

812
00:37:02,788 --> 00:37:03,268
Becks: yes.

813
00:37:03,518 --> 00:37:03,738
Yeah.

814
00:37:03,738 --> 00:37:04,948
That's what we're all about.

815
00:37:05,128 --> 00:37:07,378
Kate Kendrick: Because at first I
was a little nervous walking in.

816
00:37:07,378 --> 00:37:09,308
Like all of these people
have their businesses.

817
00:37:09,308 --> 00:37:11,008
They've got everything under their belts.

818
00:37:11,008 --> 00:37:12,418
They know what they're doing.

819
00:37:13,218 --> 00:37:13,948
And I don't.

820
00:37:14,638 --> 00:37:15,218
But you're

821
00:37:15,218 --> 00:37:17,078
Becks: like, yeah, we know better Blane.

822
00:37:17,088 --> 00:37:21,188
We're just laughing over here because
we're all at different places, right?

823
00:37:21,188 --> 00:37:21,838
Different places.

824
00:37:21,838 --> 00:37:23,868
And, but we're happy to help each other.

825
00:37:23,898 --> 00:37:24,808
That's the biggest thing.

826
00:37:24,808 --> 00:37:25,578
We're happy to help each other.

827
00:37:26,678 --> 00:37:28,608
Just Blane: Kate, thank you so
much for jumping on with us.

828
00:37:30,393 --> 00:37:32,143
Midlifexmomama at TikTok.

829
00:37:32,353 --> 00:37:33,803
Kate Kendrick on Facebook.

830
00:37:35,223 --> 00:37:37,213
Kate Kendrick: And the
website will be coming up.

831
00:37:37,603 --> 00:37:40,603
I will let you know the name
of my coaching business.

832
00:37:40,603 --> 00:37:44,263
Because I was really big into
social emotional learning

833
00:37:44,263 --> 00:37:45,783
and growth for students.

834
00:37:45,853 --> 00:37:45,863
SEL.

835
00:37:46,623 --> 00:37:50,013
It's kind of a bad name for certain
people, but it's Life changing.

836
00:37:50,053 --> 00:37:50,843
It changed my life.

837
00:37:51,293 --> 00:37:55,903
So my business is called social
emotional learning for grown ass adults.

838
00:37:56,333 --> 00:37:56,843
Just Blane: I love it.

839
00:37:57,053 --> 00:37:57,503
Kate Kendrick: Love it.

840
00:37:58,173 --> 00:38:00,893
We need to learn the same skills that
are being taught to our kids in school.

841
00:38:00,893 --> 00:38:00,903
A

842
00:38:00,903 --> 00:38:01,583
Becks: hundred percent.

843
00:38:02,183 --> 00:38:03,533
So great having you on the show.

844
00:38:03,543 --> 00:38:04,693
Thank you again, Kate.

845
00:38:04,813 --> 00:38:05,383
Hey, thanks

846
00:38:05,433 --> 00:38:05,733
Kate Kendrick: so much.

847
00:38:05,733 --> 00:38:06,143
You too.

848
00:38:06,143 --> 00:38:06,546
I

849
00:38:06,546 --> 00:38:07,353
Just Blane: appreciate it.

850
00:38:07,353 --> 00:38:11,413
I gotta tell people real quick that you're
going to be hearing a lot more from Kate.

851
00:38:11,543 --> 00:38:12,293
Kate Kendrick.

852
00:38:14,243 --> 00:38:17,963
That's a little, that's a little, you
see that we've planted a seed, Kate.

853
00:38:18,463 --> 00:38:20,513
You're going to hear a lot more from her.

854
00:38:20,513 --> 00:38:21,053
I promise.

855
00:38:23,663 --> 00:38:24,943
We'll see everybody here next week.

856
00:38:25,003 --> 00:38:26,583
Kate Kendrick: Hey,
thanks so much, everybody.

857
00:38:27,013 --> 00:38:27,463
Bye.